Mariela’s Sunday Thoughts: Rest
I love observing people’s reactions when I share bits about my culture: how we have dinner at 10pm, how we dance until the sun comes out, how clubbing is a thing we do Wednesdays through Saturdays (and of course, we add sunset sessions on Sundays in the summer). Argentinians know how to do one thing really well: we know enjoyment, because we understand rest.
When the world looks at the Argentinian culture, they see our magical source of energy: the mate - that fantastic infusion that gives you the energy you need without the crash. They’ve even tried to imitate it, I’ve seen yerba mate concoctions flavored with all sorts of things, canned, sweetened, so incredibly wrong.
What the world fails to notice, however, is what’s behind our mate. It’s not just the actual infusion that gives us the energy; it is the pause, the moment, the ritual. That is what’s worth trying to imitate.
Mate implies a break. We never do it on the go, we never do it as a secondary activity. Mate is the most social moment of rest, even when we’re on our own.
Mate is seen as company. There’s a certain type of magic involved in preparing it: filling the mate cup with yerba, heating up the water, adding the bombilla, and making that first, steamy pour. It is a ceremony that lasts at least a good half hour (longer if you pair it with cake and friends). We have multiple rounds each, we pour mate after mate, enjoying the unique experience of each sip.
When in groups, we pass it around, we pair it with conversations, we talk joys, problems, wins, losses. We share, and that’s the most important thing.
When visiting someone, the first thing the host will do is prepare the mate. It’s the start of what follows: the pause, the half time of your day, the break, the reset, your rest.
Two months ago, when I came up with the idea of creating Grounded, I accidentally gave myself a second full-time job that resulted in sleepless nights, poor nutrition, and an overall sensation of being deeply exhausted.
I’ve always worked hard, I’ve always coped with sleeping fewer hours than ideal when needed, I’ve always managed to do many things at the same time. So why is this time so exhausting?
And then, it hit me: we don’t pause here. We don’t take daily breaks of several hours in the afternoon to visit a friend, take a nap, or have a mate. I neglected the very thing that is so natural in my culture: I neglected to rest.
When talking about rest, people usually picture the extreme: a long vacation, a retreat somewhere remote, a spa day. But where I come from, rest in embedded in the daily life: no matter what, we all make time to warm some water, fill out our mate cup, and have our mate ritual.
It is a reset, a meditative moment, a very yogic practice. It’s a moment of pure presence, where we’re paying attention to the smell, the taste, the thoughts or conversations, the connection.
It is easy to get caught up in the rhythm of things and neglect the very thing that allows us to do it all.
We have the ability to make any activity into a meditative moment of rest: I had a great mate moment yesterday, which I shared with friends. Today, my “rest” was a moment of sitting by the window eating the wild huckleberries one of my lovely students gifted me. I’m hoping to give myself permission to take a nap next time I feel I need it.
Where I come from, all these things are common afternoon practices. After all, how do we expect to dance until sunrise if we don’t take a midday break?